I don’t know why social media has taken such an affinity with this movie because it’s not even laughably bad, it’s just straight-up bad in every way. I wish this was even slightly fun to watch, I was hoping to be able to have a few laughs at how bad it was, but this proved to be a miserable experience.
SYNOPSIS: Dangerously ill with a rare blood disorder and determined to save others from the same fate, Dr. Morbius attempts a desperate gamble. While at first, it seems to be a radical success, the darkness inside of him is soon unleashed.
I am so anti-Sony-made Marvel movies, and I genuinely don’t know why they keep making these offensively bad films in hopes of their characters one day sharing the screen with Spider-Man. The first Venom movie was awful enough to where I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in watching the second one, and now they’re coming out with an “El Muerto” movie with Bad Bunny as the star; a character who has been in a whopping two issues of Marvel comics.
I’m against Disney monopolizing the film industry, but I honestly don’t know what’s worse: Sony keeping the rights to the Spider-Man characters and making awful movies, or Disney getting the rights and making lifeless sequel after prequel after spinoffs based on the same characters.
Anyway, let’s actually talk about this movie, help me God.
If this movie took itself a little less seriously I feel like it wouldn’t have been so bad, but wow this thing is not fun at all. They try to add a bit of flair to the villain Milo with a weird dance scene, but it just doesn’t fit into the rest of the movie. It’s not funny at all when it tries to be, and there’s just no life to any of it whatsoever.
Jared Leto admittedly is giving his all here, surprisingly, but thinking about Leto method acting for this movie in particular actually makes me laugh. I wonder if he drank actual human blood to “prepare” for this role. Tyrese Gibson gives one of the most half-assed performances I think I’ve ever seen, and pretty much everyone else besides Matt Smith and Jared Smith (whose character, however prominent in the story, NEVER EVEN GETS A NAME. He’s literally credited as “Morbius’s mentor”) is really phoning in it here.
The action does that weird thing where they stop and start with slow-motion randomly, and honestly in some of the action scenes I had no idea what the hell was going on, because I couldn’t see anything. There’s some interesting camerawork at times though? I noticed a clever oneshot or two, but it was so CGI saturated that I didn’t even care.
Outside of the fact that Morbius literally murders a bunch of random people in the first 30-minutes of this movie, I could not care less about him as a protagonist. There’s a somewhat interesting dynamic between Morbius and Milo, but this gets overshadowed by the rushed and nonsensical development of Milo as the eventual villain.
This story is hollow through and through, as well as the characters. This movie is SO hollow, in fact, that it doesn’t even bother to finish the story. The movie just ends, out of nowhere. So many untied story threads, but so much room for a sequel! Fantastic.
Oh, and the two-post credit scenes are atrocious and make no sense to me whatsoever. It’s so painfully obvious that the writers of this movie don’t care about anything outside of making money, and I’m afraid of what happens if this social media trend of making fun of this movie turns into them making a sequel.
Sigh, I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I need a severe palate cleanser after this. Morbius isn’t even bad enough to be entertaining, so don’t bother watching it. Wow. Can’t wait to see what garbage Sony-Marvel pushes out next.
3/10
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